Carolina Light - It's the latest product, so now a woman can chew tobacco but still look and feel like a lady. It's the brainchild of Chaw Lyder, a young upstart advertising executive, who's put his fiance Miss Lucie up on billboards all over the nation as the West Carolina poster girl. She's pretty, innocent, and, of course, in accordance with West Carolina rules, never chews tobacco. After all, it's bad for you, they say.
West Carolina has wielded enough influence to buy off most of Congress and get much of the country addicted to their product, a tobacco with that special zing, but a lot more poisonous than the regular stuff. Enter onto the scene Reaper Grimes, a senate candidate, and unfortunately for him an honest man as well, who's running on a platform of putting West Carolina back in its place.
Chaw has a lot to prove. He's still got the shadow of his father's disapproval hanging over him, and even being a big tobacco executive can't seem to make the shadow go away. He sometimes forgets that in friendship and love, he's got to give in. He takes on a protege, a wandering loner named Trekker, and tries to mold him into an image, perhaps, of what his own father wanted him to be. He fights continually with Lucie, who loves him dearly, but against his wishes (and at her mother's behest) is saving herself for marriage. He also doesn't appreciate her questioning the motives of him and his company. On a date, the two of them wonder if they're really in love, or are just supposed to be because they used to feel that way.
As time moves on, the West Carolina Bossman unveils a deadly plan to deal with an overconfident Reaper Grimes, and Lucie gets tired of Chaw's bullying and threatens to quit her job for two reasons - first she's not getting anywhere in the marriage department, and second her domineering mother keeps all her money. And Trekker? He's just about had enough of the whole thing, and of a friendship where anything he wants simply doesn't count.
As both Chaw and the company forge ahead, they forget that victory often has a price along with a trophy.
West Carolina Tobacco was performed as a community theater production in November, 1995 and 1999. It is published by Brooklyn Publishers; however, the playwright retains rights of performance and productions. It has roles for 4 men and 3 women.
ACT 1, Scene 1
SET: West Carolina should have a “larger than life” look to it where the corporation as an entity appears somewhat imposing on the actors. Despite scenes in several locations, it should be able to be accomplished with one set and perhaps moving a few pieces of furniture here and there. Don’t be afraid to juxtapose indoor and outdoor scenery, or to depart from a ‘realistic look.’ A West Carolina Tobacco logo would be a nice touch, as would a giant map of North Carolina. A shadow of 1940s decor hanging over the set would show a corporation that has come into a lot of money but is still pretty backwards in a lot of ways.
SCENE 1
The stage is dark except for a low spotlight on CAROLINE. REAPER stands behind her with his back to the audience, but he shouldn’t be very visible at this point.
CAROLINE
In the city of Accra, in Ghana, 52 percent of the population is addicted to West Carolina Tobacco products. In the city of Roanoke, Virginia, 75 percent is addicted to West Carolina tobacco. And in our own city of Asheville, North Carolina, 92.5 percent of our adult and teenage population is addicted to West Carolina chewing tobacco.
With numbers like this, it goes without saying that West Carolina while very much out of control, is very much in control. They control our citizens though addiction, and they control our state through political manipulation. As they grow fat off the tobacco crop, our people are losing their teeth, their jaws, and their rights.
Reaper Grimes, as a candidate for North Carolina senator, will put a stop to the moral disintegration that has become the maxim of West Carolina. He and he alone is a candidate that is not in the pouch of this overreaching tobacco conglomerate. He and he alone wants to return the control of our state to the citizens who worked so hard to build it. Reaper Grimes will speak for the citizen – who as a victim of West Carolina Tobacco – can no longer speak for himself.
Vote Reaper Grimes for North Carolina senator.
REAPER
(turns around, and the lights reveal him with a mask over his face, which he lowers slowly) Or you may never be able to show your face in public again.
CAROLINE
Because this is North Carolina, not West Carolina.
(Lights out on them and they exit; lights up on LUCIE on the other side of the stage, who’s dressed like an old time southern belle, complete with ruffles, hoop skirt, and parasol.)
LUCIE
Back in the good old days, it wasn’t considered elegant for a woman to chew tobacco. But then, it wasn’t considered elegant for a woman to do a lot of things. But today’s women who chew our new Carolina Light are just as elegant as any overly pampered southern belle ever was.
They know you don’t have to be a ball player or a truck driver to enjoy its light, smooth flavor. They know that just a little pinch between the cheek and gum gives a woman the freedom to enjoy a delicately flavored smokeless tobacco blend without producing any offensive tobacco smoke. (curtsies clumsily in the outfit)
So don’t be a slave to fashion. With Carolina Light, you set the pace. The choice is yours. You can be elegant like this (curtsies again), or elegant like this! (She takes out a pouch of tobacco puts her hand in it as if to take out some tobacco. Lights come up and we find they’ve been filming this for a TV ad. Along with her are CHAW, MAMA, and BOSSMAN.)
BOSSMAN
Damn that’s good Chaw! Where’d you ever come up with that parasol idea to begin with? It’s made us a killing on Carolina Light.
CHAW
Aw, I just thought of how pretty Miss Lucie’d look under that parasol and it was a natural for me.
LUCIE
Oh, Chaw.
MAMA
Oh, Chaw is right. He’s made you and me a lot of money. (MAMA takes the pouch of tobacco and grabs a chew. She’s not one to excel in the social graces.)
BOSSMAN
Those girls really go for that stuff. Is it any good?
MAMA
It’s light, delicate, and it lets me set the pace!
CHAW
You’re lucky. We never get to try it.
MAMA
That’s cause I don’t work here. I just supply you with the talent.
BOSSMAN
I want my employees working, not chewing.
CHAW
Well I been working plenty. I got our last ad running all over the state and all up and down the east coast. It’ll go national soon. Thanks to us gettin’ those old commercial codes overturned. I do well for you, eh, Bossman?
BOSSMAN
Fine, considering the state you were in when I brought you on board.
CHAW
Yeah, I was a good chunk o’ nothin’, I know. But Chaw Lyder warn’t stupid, he was just deprived. Looks like you done yourself good here, givin’ me a chance.
BOSSMAN
Yeah, who’d o’ ever guessed it?
CHAW
Well, when you get a good woman, you got to do something to impress her. (for LUCIE’s benefit) We own this place, you know. North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia. All three of ’em in our back pocket.
MAMA
Reaper Grimes thinks he can mount an offensive against us. Have you seen the new ad? (mocking) “This is North Carolina, not West Carolina!”
BOSSMAN
Reaper’s gonna have a heap o’ trouble in his pouch if he don’t let us be.
MAMA
He don’t even do his own talkin’. Gotta have that woman do it for him. Miss Caroline! She’s just so mo-ra-li-té.
CHAW
Yep. Reaper’s something all right. Hair all greased back like he was livin’ forty years ago. Ain’t no man gonna beat us out wearin’ whale oil on his head.
LUCIE
Oh, I bet he gets a few votes.
MAMA
Hush up girl. Don’t talk like that. He’d take Carolina Light right out of our mouths like taking candy from a baby. And you know what that means. It means you’re out of a job, and we’re out of cash!
CHAW
He’s out to re-regulate everything I fought for. Hey Bossman, you don’t think he’s a got a chance!
BOSSMAN
I don’t know. I think we control enough of the state legislature. They aren’t gonna let any Reaper Grimes get the better of them.
MAMA
Just what we need. An honest politician when everything’s going our way.
BOSSMAN
Reaper ain’t a problem for us. We didn’t get where we are by letting people step all over us. And we aren’t gonna lay down a doormat for him when he comes calling either.
MAMA
Oh come on, you’ve got so many legislators in your pocket your pants don’t fit. Come on Lucie, you’re looking faint. Let’s get you out of that dress.
CHAW
Oh not yet, Mama. I wanna look at her in it a little longer.
MAMA
Well get your lookin’ in quick. Too many women in that get-up have fallen over just so’s a man could get one more look at them.
BOSSMAN
Well if she does, Chaw can roll her back to you. (MAMA and BOSSMAN exit.)
CHAW
Man, that Mama Smokey’s really somethin’. But she sure loves our tobacco.
LUCIE
That she does. All day long.
CHAW
Gawd, it sure looks stupid to see a woman with a wad in her mouth. It’s about as unwomanly as a woman can get. (pause) You know we’ve practically doubled our market since we brought you into the picture. We got every dame in the country thinkin’ she looks like Scarlett O’Hara just by poppin’ in a wad of Carolina Light. And all thanks to you. Man, you and me are gonna be rollin’ in it. (He kisses her) You sure do look good in that outfit.
LUCIE
I feel so silly.
CHAW
Aw, don’t feel silly. I made you a star with that. I got every man lookin’ at you with goggin’ eyes, and every woman following your example and chewin’ on West Carolina Tobacco. I done real well for you, didn’t I Lucie?
LUCIE
Sure have. Me ’n Mama was struggling before I met you.
CHAW
I just thought you were the prettiest girl at that dance.
LUCIE
And innocent, don’t forget that.
CHAW
And innocent. And still innocent. Seems to me you’d let me take that from you someday. What you say?
LUCIE
(they’ve been through this a million times, and at this point it should come off like fun, even though it’s annoying to both of them.) You know I’m savin’ myself for the man that wants to marry me!
CHAW
I do want to marry you. But not now.
LUCIE
Well, it seems to me you could just have your fling and walk off and leave me. Just like that.
CHAW
And you think a piece of paper could keep me tied to you if I didn’t want it? I’m one of the most powerful boys in North Carolina, Lucie. I can get what I want. Almost.
LUCIE
Almost. Mama taught me not to give it away to someone who ain’t ready to make a commitment.
CHAW
I’m just gettin’ my life started, though. I can’t make a commitment right now. Not with you askin’ me, anyhow. It doesn’t look right.
LUCIE
I’m not asking you. I’m asking you to ask me. You think I don’t look at you and wonder what it might be like to see you happy with me?
CHAW
Then what you got to lose? Lots o’ women take a look at Chaw Lyder and they’d roll over for him in a minute. I’ve given you everything I can give you.
LUCIE
Not a ring!
CHAW
In time!
LUCIE
Mama always said if they can wait to get married, they can wait to enjoy the fruits of our labor.
CHAW
Mama’s got something to say on everything, don’t she? You know my daddy was the same way. The man knew everything about everything. ’Cept how to raise a family. I can hear him talkin’ to me right now.
LUCIE
What’s he saying?
CHAW
He’s tellin’ me if I was man enough you wouldn’t be puttin’ up such a fight, Lucie. That’s what I’m hearin’. But you could quiet him up!
LUCIE
Chaw!
CHAW
You know, my last girlfriend, she just couldn’t get enough o’ me!
LUCIE
That’s what I hear. She couldn’t get enough of you. Chaw, you got looks, you got the muscles, you got the bucks, and you got a mind that can take a poor woman with nothin’ and put her on every TV station in the country. If you’d add a little modesty to the mix I bet I couldn’t resist you.
CHAW
Well that’s another thing my daddy used to say. If I’d have kept quiet, nobody would be nowhere. You got where you are by listenin’ to me, didn’t you? And I can keep you there or change my mind.
LUCIE
You know what it sounds like? It sounds like my mama shoulda married your daddy.
CHAW
God you make my skin crawl something awful. Well get yourself out of that getup. I can’t have you sweatin’ all over it for the next shoot.
LUCIE
I do love you, Chaw. And when my name’s Lucie Lyder I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. (she kisses him and out she goes.)
CHAW
Well it’ll be a long time ’fore this horse makes a permanent home in your stall, Miss Lucie. You don’t listen to me now, you’ll never listen to me once you drag a commitment out of me.
