It's a typical day for Chet Huck at Johnson City Hardware. His mother Fern just dropped in to berate him for how he's running the business - as if a million five in the third year wasn't enough. His best friend Boyd carries on with his secretary Mackie right in front of him, despite the fact that Boyd's wife is working the register out on the sales floor. And despite the fact that Mackie might have some work to do. Boyd hits Chet up for some bucks to take Mackie to lunch; his mother gives him a gun for protection. He puts up with it all good naturedly - at least on the outside. Boyd's always hitting him up for money. Then again, Boyd doesn't have a job.
Life is bleak for Chet. His store is what he has. That and a longing for men that people are starting to figure out. A longing for Boyd that's becoming less and less a secret every day. A rich and influential family like his can't afford to have a homosexual, his mother points out, so she hatches a scheme to fix him up with an attractive but sleazy accountant lady. "I'm tired of answering questions about you," Fern say accusingly. "Then shut up," Chet tells her. It's simple, if only she'd look.
While Chet's busy fending off the ridiculous advances of his accountant Azalea, Boyd teases him mercilessly, playing at being his friend while ripping him off at the same time. He knows if he gives Chet what he wants, Chet will give him just about anything he asks. And why not? Boyd has the world where he wants it. A wife he can beat, a woman he can screw, and a best friend he can screw over. It doesn't come much better.
Chet grows more and more aware that being gay in a small place like Johnson City, Tennessee isn't going to help him find either love or compassion. He's looked outward. He's taken to falling in love on the computer - a mystery man named Ranger who took his heart while Boyd took his money. He talks to Ranger all day long -it's real to him. It's hard being born to rich white trash, he figures. Maybe there's something better for him out there.
Maybe. Boyd's looking more and more interested, he's learning to keep his mother at bay, and that gun gets people out the door awfully fast these days… maybe things will turn out okay for him after all.
Very funny and very bleak, Rich White Trash puts the greedy and the ignorant at the forefront with only one good soul to fight them off - if he can.
Parts for two men, four women, one set.
Dialogue sample follows:
Act 1, Scene 5
AZALEA and CHET. She’s got on a tight dress and is a bit of a sex kitten. She can say just about anything and turn it into a sexual come on. She and CHET are sitting on MACKIE’s desk at opposite ends he’s on the left and she’s on the right. When she tries to get close he gets queasy. While she knows her job, she’s got a lot more in mind than that.
AZALEA
(shuffling some papers and putting them away) Well it looks like everything is in good order. (looks him up and down) Real good order.
CHET
I pride myself on my order. And I wish you’d join one.
AZALEA
You’re so funny, Chet. But I worry about Joan. She’s not quite on the up and up.
CHET
I know.
AZALEA
You know? The woman is stealing money from you.
CHET
I know.
AZALEA
She’s tearing your clothes off, Chet. Piece by piece. And pretty soon you’ll have (draws this out as she thinks about it) nothing… left… on… at all.
CHET
Boyd ain’t workin’. That’s the only reason I keep her on here. Kinda lookin’ out for them I reckon.
AZALEA
You don’t run a business with your heart. You run it with your head.
CHET
I run it pretty well. No one has faith in me. I tripled it in three years and y’all think I sit at home playing with blocks. I bet I top two million next time around.
AZALEA
You are amazing. I would like to know how you do it, Chet.
CHET
I’m sure you would, Azalea.
AZALEA
So… do you have any plans for this weekend?
CHET
(surprised) Why? You wanna spend Saturday night goin’ over my books?
AZALEA
I just never see you out anywhere. It’s a small town. Where do you party?
CHET
You care?
AZALEA
I’m an old friend of the family. I’m just curious.
CHET
Funny, so am I. I party in Asheville. Not that it’s much of a party.
AZALEA
Really? Where at?
CHET
Wherever I wind up.
AZALEA
That’s too bad. (pouty) You driving all that way to Asheville when I’m right here in Johnson City.
CHET
That’s why I go to Asheville. I just stay by myself. I don’t make a lot of friends. Kind of a loner sometimes.
AZALEA
Well we have a little time to become friends now.
CHET
Are we finished with the accounting?
AZALEA
That depends what we have to account for, Chet.
CHET
Azalea-
AZALEA
Chet. Just don’t say anything. (she leans toward him and tries to kiss him)
CHET
I have to go out with Boyd.
AZALEA
Boyd!
CHET
Boyd. (she doesn’t say anything) Boyd. (silence) Boyd! What the fuck!
AZALEA
Boyd Skaggs. Taking a married man away from his wife. No wonder they say that about you.
CHET
Say what?
AZALEA
You know what they say.
CHET
They’re always saying something. And it ain’t ever nice.
AZALEA
Well, we could put a stop to that. Right here, right now. We can dispel that ugly notion that you… well how shall I put this… cross over to the other side.
CHET
The way I was raised you was the other side. And I ain’t crossin’ over to that.
AZALEA
Is there no woman here in Johnson City that attracts you that you have to go looking for one in North Carolina? Or is there just no woman that attracts you at all? That’s what we’re all wondering.
CHET
Sounds like you all need to get a life. Mine ain’t that exciting for y’all to be so interested in it.
AZALEA
It could be.
CHET
I ain’t lookin to get married. I’d hate to run down a woman the way Dad did to my mama.
AZALEA
What do you mean?
CHET
Don’t know. I figure he musta done something to her to make her hate him like that and take it out on me.
AZALEA
Oh no. From what I hear she was always like that.
CHET
You mean he knew it and married her?
AZALEA
Money, boy. It talks. It’s talking right now, if you listen.
CHET
It do talk a lot around here. Gives people a reason to think they’re something they ain’t. We don’t have the character to support that kind of money.
AZALEA
It never did that to you, though. You’ve always been different.
CHET
I’m a rebel. I got heart, too. Just hide it all day long to get by. Always been a rebel, they say.
AZALEA
Well I’d sure like to see some of your fighting spirit. And so would your mama.
CHET
My mama?
AZALEA
Fern seems to think you and I would be a good coupling. A good… item.
CHET
You and everyone have been a good item. A fast food item, at least.
AZALEA
Except you, Chet.
CHET
Yea, well I ain’t much of an item with anyone. And I’ll keep it that way until I find the right item.
AZALEA
Like Boyd.
CHET
(he’s really had about enough) What is that supposed to mean?
AZALEA
Most men would call him up and cancel if they had a chance to-
CHET
Fuck you?
AZALEA
(she’s frustrated that he can see right through her) Oh that is so improper.
CHET
Yes it is, so don’t ask me.
AZALEA
(making herself more available) Be strong, and take what you want.
CHET
I can be strong.
AZALEA
Your mother doesn’t seem to think so. You’re letting Joan rob you blind to keep Boyd coming by for lunch. That is not good business sense.
CHET
Miss Robertson, Are we about finished? I have a dinner date.
AZALEA
I understand. (starts to leave) Asheville. Oh, and yes, I am going to run back to your mama with the information. (exit)
CHET
Not if I trip your slutty ass.
Blackout
