Our one act play centers around Lark, who has just landed the enviable position of creating and writing a gay sitcom for a major network. Lark is certain he can find some interesting people and situations to stay clear of a stereotypical assortment "gay wackos, gay freaks, and gay crazies," while his partner Preston suggests a successful gay comedy for the 90s should just ape everything else on TV and avoid the major pitfalls of gay literature. "No AIDS, no alcohol, no sex, no Stonewall - and no self esteem!" he commands.
After some unsuccessful brainstorming between the two of them, a succession of characters materialize from his imagination to try to bargain their way onto the series. Lark finds himself tormented by Boston, an alcoholic ex-boyfriend; Rita, a lesbian motorcycle mom wannabe; and Clyff (with a Y!), a flame with an avant garde outfit who demands total acceptance. Eventually Lark meets the man who fulfills his perfect fantasy, much to the chagrin of his partner.
No AIDS, No Alcohol, No Sex, No Stonewall touches on some all too common identity crises experienced by the gay community: are we just like everybody else, do we want to be just like everybody else, do we have to like everyone in the community just because they're gay, and it is right and proper to treat people as outcasts just because we may think they're too stereotypical? There's also the concern of acceptance outside the community as well - now here's a new issue! - how gay they can be and still appeal to a largely straight TV audience. "After all," Preston observes, "there's hundreds, if not thousands of straight folks out there, though I don't think there's as many as they claim."
No AIDS, No Alcohol, No Sex, No Stonewall was originally produced at St. Louis Gay PrideFest in June, 1997 under the title of Gaywatch. It has roles for 6 men and 1 woman, however roles can be doubled and performed by 4 men, 1 woman.
