3m, 2f, Setting: Downtown Philadelphia, Summer 2002.
Kabul is 23, Rob is 53. But they're in love! Can they make it work? Maybe so, if everyone around will let them. Rob's mother, a saucy no-holds-barred lady of 78, gets more sex than anyone in the cast, and is tired of seeing Rob get his heart broken by younger men. Kabul's best friend Xenia has a Goth wardrobe and matching mentality - who wants to die when you can stay here and enjoy the misery? Kabul's new friend John Quince tries to push past the bounds of friendship; with him, even a trip to Old Navy is fraught with romantic possibilities.
Kabul, alone and a virgin until meeting Rob at 23, finds that the world of love and romance is as scary as going it by himself. He has a bizarre ability to see through people's minds, and operating on two realities at the same time. He watched the twin towers fall from a hotel room in New York - that only made it worse. In this world, sharing a cup of coffee can mean more than making love. It all depends what side you drink out of. New scenes pop up in the middle of old scenes, then suddenly retreat, to capture the wanderings of his mind.
Kabul for the first time in his life, gets a gang of friends together; friends, a lover, somebody's mom. For a short while this lonely man has it all, until it starts, almost imperceptibly, to unravel....
Dialogue sample follows:
ACT ONE
Scene 1
Outside the Millennium Coffee House in downtown Philadelphia, PA, on a busy street on a weekend afternoon. KABUL and XENIA are at a table, watching people walk by, just hanging out. Behind them at another table is QUINCE, reading, drinking, and watching them, amused and interested. KABUL is 23, obviously gay to people who are aware of such things, XENIA is also 23, wearing as much black as possible. QUINCE is a bit older, perhaps 25 or 26, more laid back.
KABUL
(on a cell phone, XENIA is annoyed with this and trying to get it away from him) Hey I had such a good time last night. Yeah me and Xenia are just hangin’ here at the Millennium… you should come by!
XENIA
(watching someone walk by, finding fault, trying to get KABUL’s attention, grabbing him) Oh look at him! He keeps his soul in his gym bag. Kabul, will you hang that up?
KABUL
(she reaches for it, and he backs away) Yeah, Xenia, the Goth. (more to her) Yeah she’s cool. No we’re just sitting here. (romantic) I was thinking about you.
XENIA
(tries to grab it) I did not come out here to listen to you play Queen of Hearts.
KABUL
(to XENIA) He wants to know if you’re a Visigoth or a vis-à-vis-goth?
XENIA
Who does?
KABUL
Rob! Of course.
XENIA
Tell him it’s not funny.
KABUL
She thinks it’s not funny. (to XENIA) He says you have no sense of humor. (into the phone) Here, talk to her.
XENIA
I don’t want to!
KABUL
(insisting, having fun) Talk to him! (gives her the phone)
XENIA
You want to know what I think is funny? (she closes up the phone) There! That’s funny.
KABUL
You hung up on Rob!
XENIA
You’re hung up on Rob.
KABUL
I like it. Rob is different. He’s gonna call right back. Now let me talk to him.
XENIA
(she doesn’t really mean it) Then I’m leaving. (gets up to go)
KABUL
(pulls her back) Stay here, Xenia. I need you here. You’ll probably get to meet him.
XENIA
Yeah you got laid for the first time in your life, and suddenly everything revolves around you.
QUINCE
(he just can’t keep quiet anymore) The first time in his life?
XENIA
Can you believe it? He’s 23.
KABUL
I wanted to wait for the right time. And the right man. (Phone rings) That’s him! (she tries to grab it from him, and he’s got to jump up to get away from her) Stop it, Xenia! (into the phone) Hay, I’ve got a raving Goth-a-tic on my hands.
XENIA
Kabul, you’re not only person who’s ever had sex. I’m really over it.
QUINCE
You’re over sex?
KABUL
(real upbeat) Hey Rob, come on down here. And hurry.
XENIA
(shouting into it) Dead battery! Beep! (grabs it from him and shuts it) You are so damn rude. That was ten minutes!
KABUL
It was not!
QUINCE
It was.
KABUL
You know?
QUINCE
I’ve been watching you for twenty, and you’ve been talking for ten.
KABUL
(almost blushing) Oh, stop.
QUINCE
Every minute of it. (intrigued) First time in your life. Well you’re cute. (dismissive) And she’s just weird.
KABUL
And you’re being overly familiar with people you don’t know.
QUINCE
That’s the difference between Philadelphia and New York. I can get away with it. John Quincy. Call me Quince.
KABUL
Kabul. And that’s Xenia.
QUINCE
Oh, like the flower!
XENIA
No, like Ohio. That’s why I wear black and I don’t do drugs.
QUINCE
Oh there’s nothing wrong with Ohio.
KABUL
Don’t get her started. My mother was on a Red Cross mission to Afghanistan, hence, look at me.
QUINCE
You don’t have to ask me twice.
KABUL
Anyway, he’s coming. He lives just around the block.
QUINCE
First time in your life?
KABUL
(alright already!) Yeah.
QUINCE
How?
KABUL
Well…
XENIA
Not how you did it, idiot. How did you wait so long?
QUINCE
No, how you did it would be nice, too.
KABUL
(a bit of regret) I wanted it to be right. And it never seemed right before.
QUINCE
Oh, you were waiting! “The invasion of the un-gay!”
KABUL
I was waiting. (more serious) I’m not like all of you.
XENIA
All of us sluts and whores. Thanks. Isn’t someone calling you?
KABUL
I didn’t say it’s wrong.
XENIA
(mocking him) It’s just wrong for me!
QUINCE
Oh, it’s sweet. I hate going out on a date with somebody and you’re the fifth john that week. (with some sort of accent) “My cat knows that when I’m having sex he needs to stay off the bed.” Oh that made me feel special.
KABUL
Hey, I was tempted. Plenty.
XENIA
Oh? I thought you were a big stone Buddha that finally got your head blown up.
KABUL
Funny.
XENIA
It is. I do have a sense of humor. (pause) Isn’t Rob like really really old?
KABUL
What do you mean by really really old?
XENIA
Like what I said. Like really really old. Like Vietnam vet old.
KABUL
I’m his soldier boy, if that’s what you mean. And it was late Vietnam.
QUINCE
(counting on his fingers) Wow! Old.
